if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
