I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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