making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
