One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize