is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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