And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize