Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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