this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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