i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
