Plan B is the new Plan A
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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