it was like his penis was on wheels.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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