White coat. Heels.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
