I didn't shave. On purpose
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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