I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
