I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I cockslap morals
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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