Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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