Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
