i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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