brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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