We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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