He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
