Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
