About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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