rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
