ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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