Screwed.edu
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
