So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
