Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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