This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
