i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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