I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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