I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
