Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
