Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
