There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
