Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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