Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize