Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize