dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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