I think scott just propositioned me for sex
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
