That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
