once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
