You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm bleeding and have questions
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
