ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
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She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
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yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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