I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
