After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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