White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
