Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
