The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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