Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
