he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We have started to decorate penises.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
