if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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