I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
