I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
