i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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