i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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