We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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