yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
