I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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