You're so nebulous sometimes
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She even gives head with a lisp.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
