dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
